Game of Thrones Review: Season 6 Episode 9
Finally. Finally. Game of Thrones has delivered: Ramsay Bolton is DEAD.
(Oops, spoilers. Sorry.)
Anyway.
This episode filled me with so much joy I can't even describe it. At one point during the episode I started to clap because I was so happy.
However, this episode was an emotional roller coaster for me. First of all, HBO Now was down for about 40 minutes, which MURDERED me. While I was waiting for HBO to get their act together, I spent 10 minutesscreaming at my roommate having a discussion with my roommate about how I don't know why I pay HBO $15 a month for a website that doesn't work and how people basically only subscribe to HBO Now for GOT, so they should get it right already. Then, the website started working again, and I instantly forgave HBO because it was the best episode ever and all television studios should just clean up and go home because they'll never produce anything even half as good.
We start off in Meereen, where we get a fantastic dragon's-eye view of the attack of the city (seriously, the CGI budget for this show must be as high as The Wall).We then cut to the great pyramid, where Daenerys' eyebrows tell us in no uncertain terms that she is not happy with Tyrion (despite his best attempts at excuses. Hey, at least the people are behind her). Fortunately, he's off the hook because Dany has just arrived with a horde of Dothraki screamers and a dragon, which is the equivalent of having a nuke in a world that hasn't split the atom yet.
Anyway, the slavers have no idea what's about to hit them -- which explains their massively unearned confidence. Hint: never bring a harpy to a dragon fight; you'll lose. Once again, Dany delivers one of the best lines in the episode when she's like "oh, we're not here to negotiate my surrender; we're here to negotiate your surrender." Dany then proceeds to hop on Drogon's back and light up the slaver's fleet. (Because she's got the fire, fire, fire, and she's gonna let it burn, burn, burn).
On a side note, I'm not exactly sure when she managed to get her dragons under control because Drogon was not answering her text messages when he deserted her in the Dothraki Sea. However, I'm choosing to ignore that particular plot blank because it ruins an otherwise perfect episode.
Anyway, after Daenerys manages to decimate the aforementioned slaver army, she returns to her palace just in time for an audience with Yara and Theon Greyjoy, or, as I like to call it, the Westerosi G20 Summit: Girl Power Edition. The gist is that queens rule and fathers drool. The end result is that Dany and Yara are the new Westerosi power couple, and they're coming for the Andals and the First Men with ships, fire, and BLOOD! Who run the world? Girls.
Of course, this is all important and interesting, but it is super boring and uninteresting compared to what is happening in the North.
On the other side of the world, Jon and Sansa face off against Ramsay Bolton in the biggest, bloodiest, and most intense battle the show has yet aired. Needless to say, it was awesome. For starters, Jon and Sansa and Ramsay have a little powwow of their own in which Ramsay offers leniency if they give up the fight. Jon and Sansa say thanks very much, but they'd rather have his head. I believe Sansa's exact words were: "You're going to die tomorrow; sleep well," which may top Dany's line as the best one-liner in the episode.
Tormund, Jon, and Davos then return to camp to make a battle plan that Jon later totally disregards. Sansa is miffed because no one will listen to her warnings about Ramsay; she's like "no really, he's a serious psychopath; he might even be worse than Joffrey," and Jon is like "psh, I fought Craster when I was north of The Wall, we'll be fine." Summary: Everyone thinks that Sansa is more stupid than she is. Jon is stupid. Jon should listen to Sansa. Although, to be fair to Jon, Sansa didn't offer man constructive suggestions. While they're having a sibling spat, Davos takes a walk in the snow and discovers Shireen's toy, burnt in the ashes. (Raise your hands if you remember that particularly nasty plot point from last season). I'm guessing we haven't seen the last of this (especially because it was in the preview for the next episode).
The rest of the episode is taken up by the Battle of the Bastards (the Bastard Bowl, if you will). The unfortunate Rickon Stark ends up being the first casualty when Ramsay uses him as a human pin cushion as he frantically runs towards Jon. Of course, this goads Jon into charging Ramsay, which was the one thing that everyone agreed they must not do at any cost (remember how I said the Jon was stupid?). I mean, I love him and everything and the fact that he's honorable makes him a more attractive character, but how do you not see that you're playing right into Ramsay's hands??? If he wasn't the Westerosi Adonis (I mean, if Adonis scowls constantly, wears too much leather, and is covered in mud ALL THE TIME), I might have to demote him on my favorite character list.
Jon, the Wildlings, and the 62 men from Bear Island put up a valiant fight (which results in a literal mountain of bodies -- I send my regards to whoever designed that set). Wun Wun the Giant is pareticlarly helpful. At one point he literally rips somebody in half! You go Wun Wun! Although they put up a good fight, Jon and his army are woefully outmatched (there's only so many people that Wun Wun can tear to pieces). Ramsay's army traps them in a pincer move, which was what Jon was planning to do if he hadn't stupidly charged Ramsay. Then, there's a horrifying couple of minutes where Jon Snow is almost crushed alive by his own men. For a few minutes there, I actually thought he was going to die again, which goes to show you that no one wears a red shirt on Game of Thrones (okay, maybe the dragons do). I mean it would be just like HBO to kill one of our favorite characters, bring him back to life, and then kill him again just to mess with people. Fortunately, however, Jon manages to fight his way out of crowd of people and Littlefinger comes to the rescue at the last minute with the Knights of the Vale. It reminded me a bit of the scene in The Two Towers when the orcs have surrounded Helm's Deep and Gandalf rides to the rescue at the last second with the Rohirrim. It was a thing of beauty.
Plus, the look on Ramsay's face was priceless.
I suspected that Littlefinger would save them at the last minute, but, even so, it was so satisfying to see them cut through Ramsay's army like butter. I was so relieved when I saw the Arryn flag on the hill that I literally punched the air. I'm sure that Littlefinger has a million alterior motives for helping Jon and Sansa (not least because Sansa is the JC Chasez to Littlefinger's 90s teenage fangirl), but that's a problem for next season, or, at the very least next episode. By the way, some people are arguing that Littlefinger engineered this battle completely on his own and sent the "come and see" letter. Personally, I do not believe this at all. Sansa is definitely playing into his hands by accepting his help, but I certainly don't think he planned for her to reject him when he came to see her at Castle Black. I also don't think he sent the letter because, when it's delivered, we see a messenger with the Bolton sigil riding into the gate.
Ramsay catches on very quickly to the fact that the jig is up and quickly rides back up to Winterfell. If you ask me, Ramsay is at heart a coward. He doesn't fight with his men and he runs away when the going gets tough. It doesn't make what happens next any less satisfying though. Ramsay is all ready to start a siege, but he forgets about Wun Wun. Ramsay is the second person in this episode to bring a harpy to a dragon fight; in this case Wun Wun is the dragon. He tears down the gate easily (Ramsay should see what he did at Castle Black), and Jon and co rush inside. Ramsay has decided that he's had second thoughts about Jon's offer of one-on-one combat and promptly starts to shoot arrows at him. Jon is not deterred however; he grabs a shield, marches right over to Ramsay, knocks him down, and beats his face into a bloody pulp. It was at this point that I started clapping.
Bravo Jon Snow! I forgive you for your earlier stupidity. The beat down Jon puts on Ramsay is only rivaled by the epic slap that Tyrion dealt Joffrey in season two. Everyone likes to see a villain get hit in the face. I saw an interview with Kit Harington (who plays Jon Snow) where he says that fans should feel uncompfortable about what happened to Ramsay because Jon goes to far and no one wants to see him sink to that level. When I heard that, I was like "naw Kit, I don't mind. Hit him again."
Anyway, Jon eventually stops hitting him, just in time for Sansa to devise the most fitting exectuion for any villain ever. They have one last confrontation. Ramsay tells Sansa that she'll never be rid of him; she's like "yeah, right; your dogs will eat you." And then they do! And then they do! And, guess what? I enjoyed it, as did Sansa, who walked away with a smile on her face.
Valar dohaeris
(As you may or may not have noticed, I'm trying a new format for this review. Let me know if you like it in the comments)
(Oops, spoilers. Sorry.)
Anyway.
This episode filled me with so much joy I can't even describe it. At one point during the episode I started to clap because I was so happy.
However, this episode was an emotional roller coaster for me. First of all, HBO Now was down for about 40 minutes, which MURDERED me. While I was waiting for HBO to get their act together, I spent 10 minutes
We start off in Meereen, where we get a fantastic dragon's-eye view of the attack of the city (seriously, the CGI budget for this show must be as high as The Wall).We then cut to the great pyramid, where Daenerys' eyebrows tell us in no uncertain terms that she is not happy with Tyrion (despite his best attempts at excuses. Hey, at least the people are behind her). Fortunately, he's off the hook because Dany has just arrived with a horde of Dothraki screamers and a dragon, which is the equivalent of having a nuke in a world that hasn't split the atom yet.
Anyway, the slavers have no idea what's about to hit them -- which explains their massively unearned confidence. Hint: never bring a harpy to a dragon fight; you'll lose. Once again, Dany delivers one of the best lines in the episode when she's like "oh, we're not here to negotiate my surrender; we're here to negotiate your surrender." Dany then proceeds to hop on Drogon's back and light up the slaver's fleet. (Because she's got the fire, fire, fire, and she's gonna let it burn, burn, burn).
On a side note, I'm not exactly sure when she managed to get her dragons under control because Drogon was not answering her text messages when he deserted her in the Dothraki Sea. However, I'm choosing to ignore that particular plot blank because it ruins an otherwise perfect episode.
Anyway, after Daenerys manages to decimate the aforementioned slaver army, she returns to her palace just in time for an audience with Yara and Theon Greyjoy, or, as I like to call it, the Westerosi G20 Summit: Girl Power Edition. The gist is that queens rule and fathers drool. The end result is that Dany and Yara are the new Westerosi power couple, and they're coming for the Andals and the First Men with ships, fire, and BLOOD! Who run the world? Girls.
Of course, this is all important and interesting, but it is super boring and uninteresting compared to what is happening in the North.
On the other side of the world, Jon and Sansa face off against Ramsay Bolton in the biggest, bloodiest, and most intense battle the show has yet aired. Needless to say, it was awesome. For starters, Jon and Sansa and Ramsay have a little powwow of their own in which Ramsay offers leniency if they give up the fight. Jon and Sansa say thanks very much, but they'd rather have his head. I believe Sansa's exact words were: "You're going to die tomorrow; sleep well," which may top Dany's line as the best one-liner in the episode.
Tormund, Jon, and Davos then return to camp to make a battle plan that Jon later totally disregards. Sansa is miffed because no one will listen to her warnings about Ramsay; she's like "no really, he's a serious psychopath; he might even be worse than Joffrey," and Jon is like "psh, I fought Craster when I was north of The Wall, we'll be fine." Summary: Everyone thinks that Sansa is more stupid than she is. Jon is stupid. Jon should listen to Sansa. Although, to be fair to Jon, Sansa didn't offer man constructive suggestions. While they're having a sibling spat, Davos takes a walk in the snow and discovers Shireen's toy, burnt in the ashes. (Raise your hands if you remember that particularly nasty plot point from last season). I'm guessing we haven't seen the last of this (especially because it was in the preview for the next episode).
The rest of the episode is taken up by the Battle of the Bastards (the Bastard Bowl, if you will). The unfortunate Rickon Stark ends up being the first casualty when Ramsay uses him as a human pin cushion as he frantically runs towards Jon. Of course, this goads Jon into charging Ramsay, which was the one thing that everyone agreed they must not do at any cost (remember how I said the Jon was stupid?). I mean, I love him and everything and the fact that he's honorable makes him a more attractive character, but how do you not see that you're playing right into Ramsay's hands??? If he wasn't the Westerosi Adonis (I mean, if Adonis scowls constantly, wears too much leather, and is covered in mud ALL THE TIME), I might have to demote him on my favorite character list.
Jon, the Wildlings, and the 62 men from Bear Island put up a valiant fight (which results in a literal mountain of bodies -- I send my regards to whoever designed that set). Wun Wun the Giant is pareticlarly helpful. At one point he literally rips somebody in half! You go Wun Wun! Although they put up a good fight, Jon and his army are woefully outmatched (there's only so many people that Wun Wun can tear to pieces). Ramsay's army traps them in a pincer move, which was what Jon was planning to do if he hadn't stupidly charged Ramsay. Then, there's a horrifying couple of minutes where Jon Snow is almost crushed alive by his own men. For a few minutes there, I actually thought he was going to die again, which goes to show you that no one wears a red shirt on Game of Thrones (okay, maybe the dragons do). I mean it would be just like HBO to kill one of our favorite characters, bring him back to life, and then kill him again just to mess with people. Fortunately, however, Jon manages to fight his way out of crowd of people and Littlefinger comes to the rescue at the last minute with the Knights of the Vale. It reminded me a bit of the scene in The Two Towers when the orcs have surrounded Helm's Deep and Gandalf rides to the rescue at the last second with the Rohirrim. It was a thing of beauty.
Plus, the look on Ramsay's face was priceless.
I suspected that Littlefinger would save them at the last minute, but, even so, it was so satisfying to see them cut through Ramsay's army like butter. I was so relieved when I saw the Arryn flag on the hill that I literally punched the air. I'm sure that Littlefinger has a million alterior motives for helping Jon and Sansa (not least because Sansa is the JC Chasez to Littlefinger's 90s teenage fangirl), but that's a problem for next season, or, at the very least next episode. By the way, some people are arguing that Littlefinger engineered this battle completely on his own and sent the "come and see" letter. Personally, I do not believe this at all. Sansa is definitely playing into his hands by accepting his help, but I certainly don't think he planned for her to reject him when he came to see her at Castle Black. I also don't think he sent the letter because, when it's delivered, we see a messenger with the Bolton sigil riding into the gate.
Ramsay catches on very quickly to the fact that the jig is up and quickly rides back up to Winterfell. If you ask me, Ramsay is at heart a coward. He doesn't fight with his men and he runs away when the going gets tough. It doesn't make what happens next any less satisfying though. Ramsay is all ready to start a siege, but he forgets about Wun Wun. Ramsay is the second person in this episode to bring a harpy to a dragon fight; in this case Wun Wun is the dragon. He tears down the gate easily (Ramsay should see what he did at Castle Black), and Jon and co rush inside. Ramsay has decided that he's had second thoughts about Jon's offer of one-on-one combat and promptly starts to shoot arrows at him. Jon is not deterred however; he grabs a shield, marches right over to Ramsay, knocks him down, and beats his face into a bloody pulp. It was at this point that I started clapping.
Bravo Jon Snow! I forgive you for your earlier stupidity. The beat down Jon puts on Ramsay is only rivaled by the epic slap that Tyrion dealt Joffrey in season two. Everyone likes to see a villain get hit in the face. I saw an interview with Kit Harington (who plays Jon Snow) where he says that fans should feel uncompfortable about what happened to Ramsay because Jon goes to far and no one wants to see him sink to that level. When I heard that, I was like "naw Kit, I don't mind. Hit him again."
Anyway, Jon eventually stops hitting him, just in time for Sansa to devise the most fitting exectuion for any villain ever. They have one last confrontation. Ramsay tells Sansa that she'll never be rid of him; she's like "yeah, right; your dogs will eat you." And then they do! And then they do! And, guess what? I enjoyed it, as did Sansa, who walked away with a smile on her face.
Valar dohaeris
(As you may or may not have noticed, I'm trying a new format for this review. Let me know if you like it in the comments)
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