Best Dressed in Westeros: Game of Thrones Fashion

So, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pretty serious internet fashion commentator (translation: I once wrote a blog about Disney outfits; you should read it). Now, I haven't really done any commentary in a while, but I have an excuse: I was watching Game of Thrones -- enough said. Anyway, now that season five is over, I have nothing to do for ten months except wait for the next season of Game of Thrones and dream about who's going to get the ax this time -- and comment on their clothes.

I recently realized that I've commented on pretty much every aspect of Game of Thrones, but I've never really talked about the fashion. This seems like a huge oversight to me because Game of Thrones is both a triumph of costuming and a complete fashion failure -- depending on which character you're talking about. Thus I've decided to present you a list of the best dressed in Westeros (from worst to best).

The Sand Snakes - Ugh, Sand Snakes, ugh! Let me count the bad fashion choices: the earth tones, the armor/dress combination, the faux leather, the weaponized accessories, the boots, and the list goes on. Their clothes are so, so ugly. First off, none of those women should be wearing yellow or brown. Whenever I see them walk on screen I just want to scream: "that's not your color -- go put on something red! Or green! Or blue! Or any other color." But do they listen to me? Noooo. Maybe their clothes are practical, but they just scream "the hideousness of my outfit matches the nonsensical-ness of my plot." So. Much. Fail.

Please, Stop with the Earth Tones

Melisandre - I've got three words for Melisandre: Too. Much. Red. Whenever I see Melisandre walk onto the screen, I want to say to her "take all that red clothing and that red hair and take yourself back to whatever red city you came from. There are other colors."

I See a Red Dress and I Want to Paint it Black

Jon Snow - The fur. Oh the fur. What is that puffy animal skin that is constantly around his neck? Is it a cloak? Is it a scarf? I just don't know. I understand that the Wall is cold, but the Night's Watch is so poorly dressed ALL THE TIME! This is especially tragic since Jon has so much potential. I think the actor even did some sort of modeling campaign. I think we would all love to see Jon in something a little more form fitting -- I understand that Under Armor, for example, can be quite warm.

Warm, But Tragic

Arya Stark - Arya is in hiding for most of the series, so I let her off the hook with a lot of things. One thing I do not let her off the hook for is her clothing choices. I just have one question for Arya: do you know that there are colors besides grey? Her disguise in season five is by far her best outfit; but most of the time it's all grey, grey, and dirt. My advice to Arya is to try some real colors.

Find a New Color, I Beg of You

Myrcella Baratheon - Myrcella, I love your gorgeous blonde hair and your loving acceptance of your incestuous parents, but yellow is not your color. Like, don't get me wrong, I like frilly, girly dresses as much as the next person, but Myrcella's pastel wardrobe makes her look like she just stepped out of a Disney movie.  Not to mention that her yellow dress is a hot mess; it clashes with her hair and it makes her skin look sallow. Cersei isn't the best dresser on the show, but she's a whole lot better than her daughter. Myrcella should run -- not walk -- her way to Cersei's dress maker.

Yellow is Not Your Color

You're Not in a Story Book

Robb Stark - I'm not hating on you Robb Stark, I'm just saying that you could wear a *little* less leather. Like, I understand that Robb Stark is a warrior King and he needs to dress for battle, but, now and then, couldn't he wear a colorful tunic or something? The only reason Robb gets a partial pass for his abuse of the color brown is that his clothing compliments his hair *and* he knows how to wear a fur cloak. You wear that fur cloak, Robb Stark, you wear it!

Robb Wears Leather Well

Tyrion Lannister - Tyrion's clothes have never disappointed me thus far (well, except for those dreadful rags he wore after Jorah kidnapped him, but I don't hold that against him). Tyrion has sort of an understated style, but it works for him. His clothes aren't too flashy and they're always clean and flattering. Plus, unlike his niece, he knows how to rock the color red. Plus, since almost everyone in the show hates him, he might as well be well dressed.

Simple and Clean

Renly Baratheon - Renly didn't get a ton of screen time in Game of Thrones, but when he did, he looked fabulous. He was really rocking the decorative armor and the flowing capes and the antler crown. Say what you will about Renly's ability to rule, but he knew how to accessorize.

A Very King-ly Outfit

Oberyn Martell - Unfortunately, we didn't get to see much of the Red Viper's wardrobe before he met his *very* untimely end, but all evidence points to him being a stylish man. I especially liked his yellow coat with the embroidered suns. It's hard to pull off yellow, especially, when you are called the Red Viper.

You Rock that Coat, Oberyn

Cersei Lannister - Cersei makes a lot of questionable choices in her life, but her fashion sense is usually right *on point.* Sure, sometimes her sleeves are too long and her clothes are too stiff, but, on the whole, she's usually very much in vogue. She has gorgeous dresses with lovely embroidery and metal work -- plus, some very nice jewelry. I guess you need to dress to impress when you're having an affair with your twin and raising a psycho.

Rockin' that Red

Very Queen-ly

Joffrey Baratheon - Joffrey may be a psycho, but he's also a snappy dresser. He wears gold well, which is good, because the shiny fabric distracts from his evil, stupid face. Unfortunately, excellent tailors do not make up for being a psychopath, which is why Joffrey is not higher on this list.

The "Gold" and the Dead

Classy King

Missandei - Missandei is a woman of many talents: she speaks a ton of languages, she gives good political advice, and she has great fashion sense. She wears simple clothes, but she wears them well. She picks classic, elegant styles that are super flattering and, quite honestly, she rocks every outfit she wears. Not to mention that her clothes look far more comfortable than any outfit any other woman on Game of Thrones has ever worn. Plus, I saw her new outfit in the season five finale; that was a good call, Missandei, you go girl!

I See Your New Outfit

You Go, Missandei

Sansa Stark - Sansa has the worst luck in life and the best luck in fashion. From season one on she's rocked outfit after outfit (well, except for her blue dress in episode one, that was a little unfortunate -- avoid the weird neck bib next time). But, after arriving in King's Landing, she catches onto couture very quickly. She does simple and she does flashy; she does dark colors and light colors. Everything looks good on her. Even her wedding dress for her marriage to Ramsay Snow was gorgeous, and that was one of the most horrific scenes in the show. Simply put, Sansa makes tragedy look fashionable.

Everything Looks Good on Sansa

Looking Snowy and Northern

Stay Classy, Sansa

Jaime Lannister - Jaime Lannister is quite obviously the best dressed man on Game of Thrones, especially in season one when he had the whole Prince Charming thing going on *swoon.* His clothes aren't as flashy as Joffrey's or Renly's, but his style is simple and masculine and his lovely hair makes up the difference.  Although, like all the other men in Game of Thrones, he could cool it a bit on the leather and armor. However, his golden hand is *quite* the fashion accessory.

Prince Charming *swoon*

Looking Good in Red and Leather

Heavy Armor, Serious Fashion

Margaery Tyrell - Margaery is somewhat of a modern woman, at least, she has a modern fashion sense. She wears lace, she shows a little skin, and, of course, creates quite a stir. She has beautiful clothes and she wears them well. I have great appreciation for her fashion sense -- and her ability to manipulate everyone on the show.

Kissing a Psycho in a Lovely Dress

Skimpy and Modern

Daenerys Targaryen - Dany wears the most unique, most lovely clothes; which is fitting since she is perhaps the most unique and most lovely person in the show. I loved her Dothraki clothes, I loved her pre-Dothraki clothes, and I love her Meereen clothes. She has a distinctive and queenly look that's really great -- she also looks shockingly good in white. I think the person who sits on the Iron Throne should really be stylish; that -- after all -- is the most important part of leadership.

Skimpy and Queenly

Looking *very* Good in White

Looking Good in Dothraki

Valar dohaeris