The Top 10 Psychos in A Song of Ice and Fire
So, if you watch Game of Thrones, you know that last season everyone was really excited because King Joffrey was killed off (book readers were excited about that too, but, since that happened in A Storm of Swords, which came out 15 years ago, it's not so exciting any more). Everyone was like, "finally! we got rid of the most sadistic, horrible person on the show." That's cool and everything, but did you? Did you really? Like, Joffrey was a bad dude and everything, but are we forgetting the guy who likes to flay people alive and the mad scientist who's making a zombie strong man? Joffrey was definitely the face of the psychopath community in Game of Thrones (and in the books), but he certainly wasn't the only sadistic, evil, mentally disturbed character. So, in case you were looking for a new crazy person to worry about, have no fear; I'm here to provide you with a list of the top ten psychos in Game of Thrones/ A Song of Ice and Fire.
1. Ramsay Snow/Bolton: I thought a lot about this top spot. I know that a lot of people think that Joffrey is much more of a psycho than Ramsay (and I agree that Joffrey is certainly more unbalanced), but I've decided that Ramsay is worse overall. I mean, this is a guy who likes to flay people alive and hunt women for sport. Let me say that again: he hunts human beings with dogs. That's really, really PSYCHO. But that's not the most dangerous thing about Ramsay. The most dangerous thing about Ramsay is that he's smart. He knows how to manipulate people psychologically and torment them and break them down (he turned Theon into Reek, for crying out loud). He also knows how far he can go. The biggest problem Joffrey had was that he went too far. Ramsay knows that he can't flay just anyone. He knows who he can torture and get away with it, which means that he's far less likely to be killed than Joffrey. Ramsay preys on the powerless and hides behind his position of power and respectability, which makes him the number one psycho is Game of Thrones.
2. Joffrey Baratheon/Lannister: Without a doubt, Joffrey is the most mentally unhinged person in Game of Thrones. He's certainly as psycho as Ramsay, he's just dumber, more cowardly, and less imaginative. But, that doesn't make him any less deadly; Joffrey lacks any sort of empathy, enjoys torturing animals, enjoys watching people torture other people, and (at least in the show) likes to kill people with crossbows. He also has a lot more power than Ramsay, which is scary. The only thing that makes him less dangerous than Ramsay is that he's dumb. I mean, Joffrey is definitely not creative enough to torture people in the way that Ramsay tortures people -- and, he's certainly not smart enough to psychologically manipulate people; he could never create a Reek, for instance. Like, his most clever idea was making Tyrion joust with other dwarves -- yeah, you're real MIT material over there, Joffrey. Also, Joffrey is a total coward who needs other people to beat up his victims for him. Granted, he's a big fan of the random act of violence, which makes him scary, and he doesn't know where the line is (which was ultimately what got him killed because she threatened powerful people). But still, Ramsay Snow is way, way more dangerous than Joffrey.
3. The Mountain (Gregor Clegane): If there's one person in Westeros who just doesn't care at all, it's the Mountain -- he's all about the indiscriminate murder and rape life. In the books, he's described as Tywin Lannister's "mad dog." I think if someone's calling you a "mad dog," you should reevaluate your life decisions. However, the mountain is unlikely to do that because he's INSANE. Let's review: he raped and murdered Elia Martell AND murdered her young children, he later killed Elia's brother Oberyn (let's just note that in the show he accomplished this by squeezing out his eyes with his THUMBS), and he set his own brother ON FIRE for daring to play with one of his toys. Those are not the actions of a sane and balanced individual. Now, you can argue that most of the stuff he does is at the bequest of Tywin Lannister, but, don't worry, he also kills for fun.
4. Qyburn: Um...do the words 'mad scientist' mean anything to you? Get this, Qyburn likes to try to reanimate dead bodies for fun. Say it with me: PSYCHO.
5. The Red Woman (Lady Melisandre): Okay, let's get real here, when you're burning people alive and birthing shadow babies, you've left the world of the sane. Basically, Melisandre is a ridiculous R'hllor fundamentalist who gets off on fire and blood sacrifice and things like that. She's less dangerous than the other people on this list because she's *somewhat* reasonable and too intelligent to kill indiscriminately. But, overall, when you do some sort of blood voodoo to give birth to an assassin shadow baby, I'm done trying to reason with you. Can't play with it. Can't win with it. Can't do it. You're crazy.
6. Lysa Arryn: Let's be real here, Lysa Arryn is cuckoo for cocoa puffs. She killed her husband, breastfeeds her seven year old son, and attempted to murder her niece Sansa because she thought that Sansa wanted her new husband, Littlefinger. She's completely manic and bipolar and likes throwing people out of the Moon Door way too much.
7. Robert Arryn: I get it, Robert Arryn is a kid and, physically, he's not a threat to anyone. But, he's a little too obsessed with pushing people out of the Moon Door for me. Is there anything creepier and weirder than that little kid saying "I want to make them fly; can I make the bad man fly?" Will someone please get that kid into counseling?
8. The High Sparrow: When you're the leader of a crazy religious cult that imprisons and tortures people for the stupidest things, you need to take a look at your mental health. He's also super scary because he seems so nice and normal and then he turns around and imprisons you and tortures you and stuff. The TV show does a particularly good job of turning him into a mild mannered monster.
9. Roose Bolton: I think Roose is made out to be more crazy in the show than he is in the books, but he's definitely got the same sadistic undercurrent as Ramsay, or, at the very least, a SEVERE lack of empathy. What's creepy and crazy about Roose is that he's okay with everything. It's like, "oh, my son flayed and murdered someone in my house? Just a normal Tuesday night." There's this one section in the books where he gets married to one of Walder Frey's daughters and he's thinking about having children with her and he's like "well, Ramsay will kill them, but it'll be fun while it lasts." When you're nonchalant about child murder, you're a sociopath at the very least. Look at your life. Look at your choices.
10. Craster: Isn't it crazy how the guy who is most famous for marrying his daughters and sacrificing his sons to ZOMBIES is the most sane person on this list? Guess that's why Game of Thrones is so entertaining; it's like Keeping Up with the Kardashians with more blood, guts, and incest. #Fun.
Valar dohaeris
1. Ramsay Snow/Bolton: I thought a lot about this top spot. I know that a lot of people think that Joffrey is much more of a psycho than Ramsay (and I agree that Joffrey is certainly more unbalanced), but I've decided that Ramsay is worse overall. I mean, this is a guy who likes to flay people alive and hunt women for sport. Let me say that again: he hunts human beings with dogs. That's really, really PSYCHO. But that's not the most dangerous thing about Ramsay. The most dangerous thing about Ramsay is that he's smart. He knows how to manipulate people psychologically and torment them and break them down (he turned Theon into Reek, for crying out loud). He also knows how far he can go. The biggest problem Joffrey had was that he went too far. Ramsay knows that he can't flay just anyone. He knows who he can torture and get away with it, which means that he's far less likely to be killed than Joffrey. Ramsay preys on the powerless and hides behind his position of power and respectability, which makes him the number one psycho is Game of Thrones.
2. Joffrey Baratheon/Lannister: Without a doubt, Joffrey is the most mentally unhinged person in Game of Thrones. He's certainly as psycho as Ramsay, he's just dumber, more cowardly, and less imaginative. But, that doesn't make him any less deadly; Joffrey lacks any sort of empathy, enjoys torturing animals, enjoys watching people torture other people, and (at least in the show) likes to kill people with crossbows. He also has a lot more power than Ramsay, which is scary. The only thing that makes him less dangerous than Ramsay is that he's dumb. I mean, Joffrey is definitely not creative enough to torture people in the way that Ramsay tortures people -- and, he's certainly not smart enough to psychologically manipulate people; he could never create a Reek, for instance. Like, his most clever idea was making Tyrion joust with other dwarves -- yeah, you're real MIT material over there, Joffrey. Also, Joffrey is a total coward who needs other people to beat up his victims for him. Granted, he's a big fan of the random act of violence, which makes him scary, and he doesn't know where the line is (which was ultimately what got him killed because she threatened powerful people). But still, Ramsay Snow is way, way more dangerous than Joffrey.
3. The Mountain (Gregor Clegane): If there's one person in Westeros who just doesn't care at all, it's the Mountain -- he's all about the indiscriminate murder and rape life. In the books, he's described as Tywin Lannister's "mad dog." I think if someone's calling you a "mad dog," you should reevaluate your life decisions. However, the mountain is unlikely to do that because he's INSANE. Let's review: he raped and murdered Elia Martell AND murdered her young children, he later killed Elia's brother Oberyn (let's just note that in the show he accomplished this by squeezing out his eyes with his THUMBS), and he set his own brother ON FIRE for daring to play with one of his toys. Those are not the actions of a sane and balanced individual. Now, you can argue that most of the stuff he does is at the bequest of Tywin Lannister, but, don't worry, he also kills for fun.
4. Qyburn: Um...do the words 'mad scientist' mean anything to you? Get this, Qyburn likes to try to reanimate dead bodies for fun. Say it with me: PSYCHO.
5. The Red Woman (Lady Melisandre): Okay, let's get real here, when you're burning people alive and birthing shadow babies, you've left the world of the sane. Basically, Melisandre is a ridiculous R'hllor fundamentalist who gets off on fire and blood sacrifice and things like that. She's less dangerous than the other people on this list because she's *somewhat* reasonable and too intelligent to kill indiscriminately. But, overall, when you do some sort of blood voodoo to give birth to an assassin shadow baby, I'm done trying to reason with you. Can't play with it. Can't win with it. Can't do it. You're crazy.
7. Robert Arryn: I get it, Robert Arryn is a kid and, physically, he's not a threat to anyone. But, he's a little too obsessed with pushing people out of the Moon Door for me. Is there anything creepier and weirder than that little kid saying "I want to make them fly; can I make the bad man fly?" Will someone please get that kid into counseling?
8. The High Sparrow: When you're the leader of a crazy religious cult that imprisons and tortures people for the stupidest things, you need to take a look at your mental health. He's also super scary because he seems so nice and normal and then he turns around and imprisons you and tortures you and stuff. The TV show does a particularly good job of turning him into a mild mannered monster.
9. Roose Bolton: I think Roose is made out to be more crazy in the show than he is in the books, but he's definitely got the same sadistic undercurrent as Ramsay, or, at the very least, a SEVERE lack of empathy. What's creepy and crazy about Roose is that he's okay with everything. It's like, "oh, my son flayed and murdered someone in my house? Just a normal Tuesday night." There's this one section in the books where he gets married to one of Walder Frey's daughters and he's thinking about having children with her and he's like "well, Ramsay will kill them, but it'll be fun while it lasts." When you're nonchalant about child murder, you're a sociopath at the very least. Look at your life. Look at your choices.
10. Craster: Isn't it crazy how the guy who is most famous for marrying his daughters and sacrificing his sons to ZOMBIES is the most sane person on this list? Guess that's why Game of Thrones is so entertaining; it's like Keeping Up with the Kardashians with more blood, guts, and incest. #Fun.
Valar dohaeris
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